Well Worn Pages is two years old!
It says a lot about how this second year has gone that the actual anniversary date is June 2nd but I am writing this on July 2nd and not publishing it until July 5th.
Where year one felt exciting, relaxed, and adventurous, year two has had an, ever so slight, lag. The excitement, fun, and adventure remain, but something else is in the mix.
Like all things sophomoric, the fresh, new shine has slightly dulled, only slightly, but the effect remains. My mind has become a little more greedy with the wealth of ideas it once gave. The excitement and enthusiasm are muddled with a questioning. I am teetering on the balance of “oh that was a cool experiment” and “this is becoming something real.”
To me, this is absolutely something real, something long term, something I thoroughly, unabashedly enjoy. But…I feel a nagging now when I sit down to write or read so that I can then write. There is a quiet voice reminding me that I should be spending my time investing in my kids, reading to my kids, having them read to me, playing with them, cleaning, cooking, answering emails, doing anything else that makes actual, real dollars. My family is very supportive of Well Worn Pages, so my apprehension is not from anything they have made me feel, but feel it I do.
I supposed an argument could be made that this blog is my mid life crisis. My chance to prove to myself that I could do something I always wanted to do: write. But now that I have the proof, I wonder: is my hobby in danger of becoming the equivalent of the proverbial, or occasionally very real, red Corvette. Something frivolous, burdensome, and even obnoxious? These are the quiet weights that have been added to year two.
While I remain hopeful and cautiously confident that this hobby of mine is beneficial, helpful, and, dare I hope, entertaining, I have decided that it is worthwhile, if only as a means of self-care. And I am happier for that decision.
Throughout year two, I have written less often, but the blog posts have been longer. Most blogging experts would view this as a failure and deem it completely backwards to marketing logic. But I have allowed myself to be free from the first-born felt pressure to do it “right.” There have been times this year, when keeping up the once a week writing pace was just too hard, so I relented and allowed myself to write when I could rather than when I felt I should. I would like to think the posts were better for it. There have been times when the pressure to find just the right gif or meme or picture stole my actual writing time and the result was no post at all. So I relented and allowed myself to write posts consisting of only words (gasp). I would like to think that a prose heavy post is better than none at all.
Even with all of this, I finished year two with a great sense of accomplishment, gratitude, and commitment. This blog brings me a great deal of joy and a much needed creative outlet. I am grateful to my family for giving me the time to read and write and for those of you who find what I read and write in any way interesting. I enjoy finding out what people will find most compelling and as I look back over the second year, the most read posts are telling.
Here they are, the most viewed posts of year two:
When I think back on these posts and what led to the writing of them, the questioning voices sneak back into their dusty corners. I am having way too much fun to let fear, comparison, and insecurity keep me from this.
It is my hope that year three will bring good books, interesting connections, and enjoyment!