My Journey with American Racism and the Books that are Teaching Me

Today marks the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s assassination. As I have read articles, listened to speeches, and reflected on how far we still have to go, I have been challenged, on a personal level, by how far I still have to go with my own understanding of American racism.

Like America itself, I want to think of myself as post-racial. And yet, I speak up when I should be silent. I sit in silence when I should speak up. I speak out of pride rather than humility. I misplace my role, identity, and responsibility.

Recently, I had a chance to speak out loud words on behalf of Stephon Clark, the young black man shot by police in Sacramento. To my shame, I chose to be silent. And this after defending myself for posting about it on social media by saying that I speak up about these issues in my everyday life, not just online. Except, this time, I didn’t. I could list off endless reasons for why I didn’t. But the end of all of that, the simple fact is, I just chose not to speak up.

That choice has left me with an overwhelming sense that I have not come quite as far as I hoped I had in my journey with American racism. After all this time, I still pick and choose when to engage. I am still willing to let things I hear slide. I still miscommunicate. And I still sit back when it is inconvenient for me to stand up.

Couple this with an article I read called “The White Allies’ Guide to Collecting Aunt Linda,” in which I was challenged by #4 and #7,  and I am left this week humbled, convicted, and unsure of my process.

When this happens, I find it helpful to look back and remember how this process started. Growing up in Nigeria, I had identity issues the likes of which would make Rachel Dolezal squirm. Additionally, I also had to wrestle deeply with colonialism issues. But those are stories for another day. This is about my journey with American racism, so I will start when I moved here at 18.

I moved to downtown Chicago with no clue about winter, wind, and being white in America. More importantly, I had no clue what it was like to not be white in America.

Almost immediately, I realized that racism was alive and well in the United States, and in the north no less. And here I had innocently believed this to be a southern thing of the past. Not so! I could not even count the ways I saw, every day, my black peers being treated differently. It was shocking, frustrating, largely ignored, and NEVER publicly discussed. It did not make any sense to me.

It was a very confusing time of disillusionment and anger for me. I quickly learned that I did not have a place to express my frustrations. My white friends got angry, defensive, and would not talk about it, my black American friends were hurt by my ignorance and reminded me that I was part of the problem, and my international friends were just trying to figure it all out too.

Thankfully, I met very patient, very gracious black American friends who were willing to talk to me openly about what life was like for them. They helped me start to see and slowly understand the recent history that kept racial tensions so high.

Then in 1999, Amadou Diallo, a young, unarmed, black man was shot 41 times by police in New York City. His story changed the story for me. This racism problem that I had seen on a personal level, now became glaringly real on a systemic one. I was once again shocked by the callousness and anger shown towards black men.

But I still could not see my own role in the system. I’m not from here, I kept telling myself. I was raised in a black African country, this issue has nothing to do with me. I am nothing like “those people.” I was too busy working through those aforementioned identity issues to take on anymore culpability at that time.

Then, thirteen years later, Trayvon Martin was shot. And something his story gave way in me. I think because he was so young and I was a parent by then, I saw his murder in a whole new light. I was no longer willing to be silent or ignorant of my own implicit biases and role in those systemic problems. It was time to get over myself, stop seeing this as other people’s problem, and start working on my own actions and words.

There are many, many articles, posts, and most importantly, people who have helped me (and continue to do so) on this ongoing journey towards racial equity in America. It is often a one step forward, two step back kind of learning. But here are a few of the books that have helped change and shape my thinking and understanding the most.

Just Mercy (Bryan Stevenson) – This book revolutionized my understanding of the American justice system. It has become one of the few books I try to make a point of re-reading.

Divided By Faith (Michael Emerson and Christian Smith) – If I only had one book to suggest to white American Christians, it would be this one. It serves as a vital, must-hear challenge.

Trouble I’ve Seen (Drew Hart) – I have entire chapters of this book underlined. Again, this book is of particular importance to white American Christians.

Warmth of Other Suns (Isabel Wilkerson) – I learned more about American history from this book than anything I ever learned in school. The true stories of the intentional, institutionalized racism that African Americans faced leaving the Jim Crow south are devastating and must be heard.

The New Jim Crow (Michelle Alexander) – I read this after reading Just Mercy and it challenged everything I thought I knew about the “justice” system.

And Still I Rise (Henry L. Gates) – This book follows the PBS special “And Still I Rise” and is an excellent historical resource. Gates’ America Behind the Color Line is also a very good book to read.

Between the World and Me (Ta-Nehisi Coates) – Something about the way Coates writes speaks to me. He has a way of conveying harsh truths in an unreserved, direct way that forces me to listen and hear him.

Tears We Cannot Stop (Michael Eric Dyson) – I will be honest, I kicked and squirmed through almost every page of this book. Dyson does not hold back in his “sermon to white America.” Everything in me wanted to say, “I don’t do that.” This is probably exactly why I needed to read this book, and then read it again.

Hillbilly Elegy (J.D. Vance) – This may seem like a strange book to have on the list, but it did help me a lot. It was eye-opening and made sense of many things I had seen. But the thing that helped me most in my racial understanding, was when Vance admitted that even growing up the way he did, he, as a white man, recognized that he still had privileges available to him that a black man would not have.

We Were Eight Years in Power (Ta-Nehisi Coates) – My phone is filled with pictures of quotes from this book. I first read a library copy and couldn’t highlight. When I tried writing quotes I wanted to remember down, I realized I was just transcribing the book. Then I started taking pictures. They are many. The chapter on reparations was particularly poignant.

In addition to these current authors, there are five authors from the past that have greatly impacted my journey. They are:

  1. Frederick DouglassNarrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass is a fantastic place to start.
  2. W.E. B. Du BoisThe Souls of Black Folk should be required reading.
  3. James BaldwinNotes of a Native Son is where I recommend starting with his writing. While not in book form, the movie “I Am Not Your Negro” was made from his writing and is also excellent.
  4. Maya Angelou – Today would be Angelou’s 90th birthday and she is deeply and greatly missed. Her poetry speaks beyond her with remarkable voice. “Still I Rise” is essential reading.
  5. Martin Luther King, Jr – While not immediately thought of as an author, I include him in this category because it is through reading that I have “heard” his speeches. I am consistently challenged by his speeches and writing. Letters from a Birmingham Jail has become a particular favorite, one I read regularly as a way of keeping my priorities, motives, and intentions rightly ordered.

As I have learned from these books, I am reminded that my goal and hope of arriving, of being done learning is flawed, unrealistic, and misplaced. My goal has to change. This is not a “one and done” kind of education. This is a moment by moment, day by day, self check kind of education. A continual, hopefully, progressing education. An education in humility, openness, empathy, and action.







Harry Potter Themed Birthday Party

I love birthdays. I love all birthdays, not just my own. I love giving presents (and, let’s be honest, receiving them). I love getting the chance to tell people how happy I am they were born and why. And, my normal personality aside, I even love birthday parties. Something about celebrating life gives me great joy.

As such, I enjoy letting my kids have themed birthday parties. We have had tea parties, Shopkins parties, Star Wars parties, Ninja Turtle parties, Strawberry Shortcake parties, color themed parties (including a four year-old’s gray party), and, one year, even a Yoda only party. Every time a child is picking their party theme, I subtly suggest books they could base their party on. Every time those subtle suggestions lose out to the mass commercial appeal of whatever it is they had in mind.

Until this year!

Finally, my eleven year-old decided she wanted a Harry Potter party. And I was thrilled. My daughter and I had a very fun time brainstorming and planning. Our idea was to have the party mimic a day at Hogwarts. The only trouble was reigning myself in and staying within our allotted birthday party budget.

After innumerable trips to entirely too many stores, endless reconfigurations for how to pull somethings off, a difficult decision to forgo one whole part of the party, and a comment from my husband that, “This party got out of control,” we were ready.

Guests were greeted at the door with beautiful Hogwarts house crests from DGS. The center Hogwarts crest comes courtesy of my creative sister.


Front door decor

The invitations were made from a picture of the Hogwarts Express.



Once the guests arrived at the party, they first visited Ollivander’s. While Ollivander’s is not at Hogwarts, we wanted them to be able to have the wand choosing experience but did not have the time to make a whole extra Diagon Alley part of the party. Although I am purist, and strongly hold that source material should be changed as little as possible in any given setting, I blurred with the Potterverse lines here a bit.


Sticks work just as well for wands

Our wands were simply sticks from the yard with these fantastic labels on them from Tattered and Inked. We did not go full Pinterest on the wands because of time. Each child was blind folded and spun around, then they searched around the whiteboard until their wand found them. The kids had a fun time comparing their wands while they waited for the rest of the group.

With wands ready, the Hogwarts school day was ready to begin. The first class on the schedule was Potions.


We started the class with a Potions demonstration from my husband. He made dragon’s toothpaste.


Dragon’s Toothpaste

The kids then paired up to make unicorn’s milk dance.


Dancing Unicorn’s Milk

Once they had practiced their supervised Potions making, they were set free to make troll drool (or slime).


Troll Drool (or just slime)

They needed no instruction here! If there is one thing I have learned about fifth grade girls, it is that they are expert slime makers. For the actual slime making, I got disposible plastic containers for each girl. Then we got cauldrons that they could keep their finished product in.


After Potions, the girls went to Magical Creatures.


There was a “magical creature” for each person hidden in the yard.


The kids had to search the yard looking for their magical creature and then bring them back to Hagrid. This was a fun change of pace and gave me time to clean up the mess of Potions and set up the next class:



Here the kids planted mandrakes.



We used plastic planters from the Dollar Store. First, they had to put “dirt” in their planters. This was a layer of chocolate pudding and then a layer of crushed Oreos. Next, for the mandrakes themselves, we used sour patch kids with two toothpicks sticking out. We stuck a green Twizzler into each toothpick. This way they were able to grab the “leaves” and pull their mandrake out.


When they did, my husband played a squealing sound on his phone. The kids loved it!

The last class of the day was Defense Against the Dark Arts. Here the kids had to learn to fight dementors. As they defeated their dementor, they discovered their patronus.




We bought animal charms for bracelets and then put those inside a balloon before it was blown up. Once the balloon was blown up, we put a large, black garbage bag over it. On the garbage bag we cut a small corner off the bottom. That hole is what we stuck the bottom of the balloon through. This way we were able to hang the dementors up so they could blow in the breeze and give off the effect of flying. It was awesome. The kids each found a dementor and, with wands ready, said “Expecto Patronum.” Very carefully, with a thumb tack, they popped the balloon and discovered their patronus as the charm fell out of the popped balloon.

They were able to keep their patronus by putting it on a key chain, which was really a hoop earring with a lobster claw hook attached. While we were making jewelry, we added a snitch to the key ring, because, why not?!


Keepsake “key chain” with their patronus and a snitch

We ended the day with a trip to the Great Hall and Honeydukes. Yes, I know, I messed with the integrity of the story, not once, but twice. It is inexcusable, but for a fun cause. The birthday cake was a spinoff of Cauldron Cake.


“Cauldron Cake”

I used this amazing recipe for mason jar strawberry shortcake from Cooking Classy. It was delightful. When they were done with their cake, they could go “shop” at Honeydukes.


They could choose from:

  • Candy Wands (Twizzlers)
  • Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans (Jelly Belly’s, although we did have one box of the real thing for the brave-hearted)
  • Dumbledor’s Lemondrops (Lemondrops)
  • Snitches (Lindor’s truffles)
  • Cockroach Clusters (Snickers bites)
  • Dragon Eggs (Whopper Robin Eggs)
  • Fizz Whizzbees (Sour Patch worms)
  • Broomsticks (pretzel sticks with half a cheese stick on the bottom)

The party was a lot of fun and a lot of work. There were so many more things I wanted to do, but for the sake of time, money, and sanity, we left them out. Those left out things are a post for another day. Thankfully there are three more kids in our home turning eleven sooner or later. Chances are I will get to use those ideas someday!




A Wrinkle In Time: Movie Review

In January, the book club my older daughters are in read A Wrinkle In Time by Madeleine L’Engle. I was thrilled, as this book had a tremendous impact on me at my oldest daughter’s exact age. Our discussion of the book was fantastic. It was exciting to see a new generation of girls inspired by Meg and reveling in L’Engle’s writing. I was encouraged and energized by their insights, observations, and questions.

It was perfect timing, then, that only two months later the movie was coming out.

With great anticipation, the parents took the book club kids to see said movie last night. We had a wonderful time taking up one and half rows of the theater and settling in to experience this story together again, in an entirely new way.

And now, I have some thoughts! A lot of them.

I went into this movie with hopeful and high expectations, which, admittedly, is always questionable practice where book adaptations are involved. I came out of the movie with an overall feeling of disappointment. Maybe my expectations were too high. Maybe I care about this particular story too much. Maybe I am too critical. Or maybe, just maybe, yet again, THEY MESSED UP!

I will go into as much detail as I can, without being spoilery, about the ways I think that happened. But in fairness, let me start with what I did like:

  • The casting of Meg. Storm Reid did an excellent job portraying Meg’s angst, confusion, frustration, suspicion, hope, disappointment, strength, and loyalty. Her performance was believable, thoroughly engaging, and true to L’Engle’s character. I was also pleasantly surprised by how well the casting of Mr. and Mrs. Murray worked. Gugu Mbatha-Raw and Chris Pine did a great job capturing their dynamic.
  • The diversity of the cast. Diverse representation in the fantasy/sci-fi genres has been sorely lacking, in print and in film. I was very pleased with Ava Duvernay’s decision to use such a diverse cast. This was particularly important in the casting of Meg. I love the fact that young black girls can go see a movie where they are represented as the smart, capable, beautiful heroine.
  • The scenes between Meg and Mr. Murray. Predictably, these scenes had a personal effect on me, remembering my dad and our dynamic. Those moments the two of them had together were among the most poignant, heartfelt scenes of the movie. I was very nervous about the casting of Chris Pine as a father, but I have to say, he did an excellent job, particularly in one of the most important moments of the story. I cannot give much more detail, but, surprisingly, one of my favorite moments in the book, also happened to be my favorite moment in the movie!
  • Mrs Whatsit’s opening line. While, arguably, too cheerfully delivered, it was an excellent homage to one of literature’s finest opening lines.
  • The way tessering was visualized. That was cool looking. I always had a difficult time picturing what that would look like. I thought the way they choose to depict it did justice to the book.
  • The IT. This was one of the very few changes that I thought actually worked well. Without giving anything away, let me just say, the movie version definitely portrayed the power and inescapableness of IT. I thought it was a good change.
  • The depiction of the darkness. This was especially well done during the explanation of what the darkness is while visiting the Happy Medium (but don’t even get me started on that portrayal…).
  • Sade’s new son “Flower of the Universe.” As a huge, long-time fan of Sade, I was very pleasantly surprised to hear her voice singing during the movie. Her new song is beautiful and fit perfectly.

Okay, *deep breath,* and now to the problems, at least as I see them:

  • Mrs Who. As my favorite Mrs. from the books, I was very excited to see how she would be played by Mindy Kaling. Unfortunately, it was not good. As I have thought about it overnight, I do not think it was her acting of the character that bothered me so much as the writing for her character. Mrs. Who’s deep, thoughtful, prophetic insights were “updated” into, often one word, attempted, mic-drops. This is not who Mrs. Who is. Her character is not an exclamation point. Her quotes are meaningful, inspiring, and thought-provoking. “DANG” just does not quite get at that with any semblance of responsible justice to the book. I do not have a problem with using quotes from more current sources as a way to reach a broader audience, so long as those quotes are in the same vein of depth as the originals. Sadly, more often than not, this was not the case. At. All. Not to mention that it is one of the most enduring qualities of L’Engle’s writing, that she does not assume she needs to use easy-to-access, tweetable, shortened quotes to read a broad audience. She believed in challenging her readers, stretching them. And it worked. I just watched it happen in January, with a group of elementary school age kids.
  • Mrs Whatsit. The re-writing of this character, and quite frankly, Resse Witherspoon’s portrayal of her, are a complete mystery to me, and not in a good way. How a supportive, kind, helpful, mysterious, measured character like L’Engle’s Mrs Whatsit can be re-worked into the silly, sarcastic, disingenuous character I saw last night, I will never know. It is very, very disappointing.
  • Mrs Which. I actually really like Oprah’s performance as Mrs Which. I will say though, IIIIII waaaasssss waaiittttinngggg ttoooo heeaarrrr sooommeeeonnne ppppuuuulllll oooofff hhhheeerrr waayyy oofffff sssppppeeaaakkiinnnggg. But again, no.
  • The changes. As someone who believes that books become beloved and well-known for the way the author told the story, I still cannot understand why screenplay adapters decide to change story details that could easily be translated into movie form. I understand that, for time’s sake, many parts of a story lay on the cutting room floor. What I am talking about are the changes to plot lines they are already choosing keep in the movie and are using CGI for, yet still change. It drives me insane every time and this time was no exception.
  • Camazotz. This was a whole lot of nope, nope, nope-ity, NOPE! There were two parts that were excellently done and, not surprisingly, followed the book’s description almost verbatim, but the rest was just terrible. I do not know how to go into the details of how it was so terrible without giving away story lines, but suffice it to say, in my view, this could not have been done worse. Two of their experiences on Camazotz were, actually, directly opposite to how it should have been.
  • What was left out. In my opinion, the “powers that be,” in the making of this movie, decided to leave out the most crucial part of the whole book. It’s just skipped over, not there at all, left completely out. I am sure that they would say it was for time’s sake, but I am guessing (and this may be my overally cynical side showing) that the actors playing the various Mrs were contracted for so many minutes “onscreen” and to accommodate the big names, they left a MAJOR part of the story, and my favorite character, out. I hope that is not true, but it does not make any sense otherwise. Let me just say this, I could have used A LOT less Uriel and A LOT more, or any really, of a certain Beast and her planet.

So there you have it, my, mostly unfiltered, thoughts.

Overall, if you haven’t read the book, it is a good movie. And, even if you have read the book, I would still say go see it. But then, immediately, go home and reread the book. It is, yet again, proven: the book is always better.



50 Family Favorite Picture Books

This month, my youngest child turned five. I find myself experiencing something largely unfelt for the last ten years…nostalgia. For these past ten years, I have been in perpetual, day-to-day survival mode. I have experienced all manner of “mom” modes, including, but not limited to:

  • Newborn Haze Mom
  • Zombie Mom
  • I Can’t Even Mom
  • “That” Mom
  • Judge-y Mom
  • Mama Bear Mom
  • Defeated, Deflated, Detached Mom
  • Yell-y Mom
  • Sobbing Mom
  • Bribing Mom
  • Oh No You Didn’t Mom
  • These Toddlers Will Be The End of Me Mom
  • and above all HOT MESS MOM

But I have never (well, rarely ever) been Nostalgic Mom. You know, the one who sees a baby and immediately sighs, reminiscing through rose-colored glasses, and pining over those best memories that rise to the top.

Nostalgic Moms used to cause very real stress for me because, with them, I had a constant feeling that I was not “enjoying the moment” enough, or present enough, or “treasuring it all up in my heart” enough. I was overwhelmed, out-numbered, exhausted, and perpetually at a loss. I had never been far enough removed from the intensity of it all to experience anything else. Now, I liken it to swimming in the ocean. When waves are rolling in at a pace that allows you to catch your breath in between, you can look around and appreciate the beauty, majesty, and power of them. At this rate, even the large, overwhelming, crushing waves can be absorbed. But when the waves come in at such a pace that each time your raise your head out the water, another crashes over you, even the smallest waves become thoroughly incapacitating and panic inducing. That is what much of the early days of mothering felt like for me. And so, nostalgia was very far removed.

But now, suddenly, with the coming of my youngest child’s fifth birthday, I am becoming Nostalgic Mom. I see a tiny baby and I coo and aww and remember (only the good things). I see an older baby grab their mom’s face and turn it to them and I can almost feel the hands of my own children years ago. I see a new walker heading in the opposite direction of their heavily pregnant mother and my mind rewinds to the joy of my children’s first tentative steps while stubbornly blocking out the endless chasing that followed. I see a toddler throwing a fit in the store and I smile at the exhausted, embarrassed mother in solidarity but feel no shared panic.

I am, at long last, far enough removed. The waves are rolling in at a relatively even pace. And I am shocked by how emotional it is. I was not prepared for how jarring this new phase of life would be for me. My children are now all school aged and my role is shifting under my feet. In an effort to somewhat steady that shifting, I have been trying to find some way of commemorating the past ten years of baby/toddler/preschool parenting, something unique, something that embodies my parenting experience during that time.

What better way for me to do that than through books?! I do not think it would be an exaggeration to say that we have read thousands of picture books in our home over the last decade. Some we have read so often the pages are destroyed, some we never finished (which is saying something for a picture book), some we have given away, some we have memorized. But no matter the reaction, the picture books have been there, in neat stacks, in rows, in “hot lava” patterns across the floor, in lopsided piles. Increasingly, though, the younger kids are asking for longer stories to be read to them. And while I will always read them picture books, I can sense the days of having twenty-seven checked out at a time waning.

Because of this, I would like to make a list of our family’s favorite picture books. This is not a list of the best picture books, though some are in there, or the most popular, though, again, there will be some overlap. These are simply the ones we enjoyed the most and I love each and every one of them for that.

The Essential First Books:

  • Yo! Yes? (Chris Raschka) – Hands down, this is the best picture book about friendship out there. This was my first picture book love and it is the first book I give to new parents.
  • Freight Train (Donald Crews) – The illustrations in this book are true art. Also, who doesn’t love trains?!
  • Red Wagon (Renata Liwska) – This fantastic book is everything a picture book should be: beautifully illustrated, funny, imaginative, and helpful.
  • Seven Blind Mice (Ed Young) – Perspective is an important thing, as these mice learn.
  • Bear’s Loose Tooth (Karma Wilson) – Of all the wonderful Bear books, this one has been my children’s favorite. Probably because over the last five years there has always been a least one loose tooth in the house.
  • Lonesome Polar Bear (Jane Cabrera) – This is a personal favorite of mine. I have memories of long, cold winter nights, reading this book again and again. All the Polar Bear wants is a friend and Cloud just is not cutting it.
  • Whistle for Willie (Ezra Keats) – This is the summer version of Keats’ Snowy Day and I absolutely love it.
  • Little Quack (Lauren Thompson) – Every parent can relate to Mama Duck’s struggle trying to get the kids out of the house, or nest, in this case. Every child can relish in the joy of overcoming fears.
  • Planting a Rainbow (Lois Ehlert) – Ehlert is a picture book icon and this was my kids’ favorite of hers.
  • The Umbrella (Jan Brett) – This book is basically The Mitten in the rain forest. I cannot count the number of times we have read this book in my house, but we all thoroughly enjoy it every time.

The Classics:

  • Snowy Day (Ezra Keats) – This book almost makes me want to play in the snow! It is picture book perfection.
  • Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See? (Eric Carle) – The best thing about this book is that your two and three-year old will feel an enormous sense of accomplishment reading this book to you, by themselves, over and over and over and, yep, over again!
  • Swimmy (Leo Lionni) – Different and all alone in the world, Swimmy just wants to find his place. Lionni’s famous illustrations will keep this book on your children’s shelf for a very long time.
  • Where the Wild Things Are (Maurice Sendak) – Max needs no introduction!
  • Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day (Judith Viorst) – It seems like every time we read this book, my kids can relate to a new part of it. Because some days are just like that, even in Australia.
  • Bread and Jam for Frances (Russel Hoban) – I’m not going to lie, I have used this book as a subtle teaching tool for how to learn to eat other things besides peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Sadly, while they love the book, they have not picked up on the lesson.
  • Curious George (Margret and H.A. Rey) – “This is George. He was a good little monkey and always very curious.” I mean, does it get much better than that!
  • Dr. Seuss’s ABCs (Dr. Seuss) – I think each of my kids have learned the alphabet to this book, with a lot of laughs along the way!
  • Chrysanthemum (Kevin Henkes) – Because my children do not have common American names, this book has been essential in our home. They have spent many hours, like Chrysanthemum, courageously embracing their unique names.
  • Animalia (Graeme Base) – This book is brilliantly written and illustrated. It does not matter how many times you have read it, you can always find something new. It is, by far, my favorite ABC book.

The Laugh Track:

  • Don’t Let Pigeon Drive the Bus (Mo Williams) – All of the Pigeon books are hilarious, this one is particularly so.
  • The Book With No Pictures (B.J. Novak) – Belly laughs will ensue, even without pictures.
  • The Day the Crayons Quit (Drew Daywalt) – Listen to the laugh-out-loud messages the crayons have for their owner.
  • A is for Musk Ox (Erin Cabatingan) – Sometimes a musk ox just needs some alphabet attention, too.
  • Count the Monkeys (Mac Barnett) – What happens if you are reading a counting book, but all the things you are supposed to count are nowhere to be found?!
  • Stick (Steve Breen) – A young frog gets overly excited about his tongue’s fly-catching abilities. Wait for it, though, because the big laughs are on the last page.
  • Hippo-Not-A-Mus (Tony and Jan Payne) – Portly, the young hippo, decides he doesn’t want to be a hippo anymore and goes searching for the animal he should be instead.
  • 11 Experiments That Failed (Jenny Offill) – Occasionally, things do not go according to plan, experiment wise. When that happens, there can be hilarious results, at least in eleven cases I’ve read about!
  • Froggy’s Worst Playdate (Jonathan London) – My kids went through a very long Froggy phase. I think “more red in the face than green” were the first seven words they were each able to read. This one is guaranteed to bring the laughs.
  • Z is for Moose (Kelly Bingham) – Moose is feeling a little excited about his upcoming page in the alphabet book. Hijinks ensue, feelings are hurt, chaos and drama reign, all until Zebra figures out the perfect solution.

The Constant Go – To’s:

  • Down By the Cool of the Pool (Tony Mitton) – The rhyme and rhythm of this book are so catchy that kids just want to hear it again and again.
  • I’m Dirty (Kate and Jim McMullin) – Apparently, there is nothing more interesting than listening to a back hoe digger brag about its machinery and revel in the mud.
  • Ladybug Girl at the Beach (Jacky Davis) – The Ladybug Girl books were sanity saving pieces of literature for my escape from all things Fancy Nancy related.
  • Only Bread for Eze (Ifeoma Okoye) – This is the second picture book I came to love as a young girl. I have read it more times than I can imagine and I love it more each time. It is the Nigerian version of Bread and Jelly for Frances.
  • Manana, Iguana (Ann Whitford Paul) – My kids feel so cool reading this book, like they speak Spanish. It is a very fun re-telling of The Little Red Hen.
  • Smash, Crash (Jon Scieszka) – If dirty diggers are your child’s thing, then this book is even better because all these two trucks want to do is smash and crash everything in sight.
  • My Name is Not Isabella (Jennifer Fosberry) – I read this book to my girls all the time. Isabella has a very active imagination and at every turn she is pretending to be a different famous woman from history.
  • Catch That Goat (Polly Alakija) – This story takes place in a Nigerian market. A goat goes missing and one little girl must find it before her mother comes back. I cannot recommend this book enough.
  • Dial M for Mercy (Doug Peterson) – Written by one of the VeggieTales writers, Bob the Tomato and Larry the Cucumber are mess-line detectives who find themselves in the middle of a pretty big mix-up.
  • My Truck is Stuck (Kevin Lewis) – To be honest, I am not sure what it is about this book that my kids enjoyed so much. But they could hear about this stuck truck many, many, many times. I really think it is the hilarious, scene-stealing gophers that they like so much.


  • Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site (Sherri Duskey Rinker) – Don’t you need to say goodnight to every construction vehicle in town before bed? Because from the antics in my house, that seems like a standard need.
  • Goodnight, Moon (Margaret Wise Brown) – I mean, whether you understand why we are saying “Goodnight, nobody” or not, you have to own the book. It is a must.
  • Llama, Llama, Red Pajama (Ann Dewdney) – Llama just needs his mama, again and again. Your kids can relate, you can relate, everybody wins.
  • Just in Case You Ever Wonder (Max Lucado) – My dad gave me a copy of this book a few years before he died and it has become a bedtime must read (and cry) with my kids.
  • Giraffe Can’t Dance (Giles Andreae) – There is nothing bedtime-y about this book and a great deal of windy-upedness (?) about it, but my kids love to hear it at bedtime. Maybe its all the middle of the night dancing, I don’t know. Either way, it is a great book, no matter the time of day.
  • Mommy’s Best Kisses (Margaret Anastas) – The book goes through different mother animals kissing their babies in all different places and my kids absolutely loved having me follow suit. And I was all too happy to oblige!
  • I’m Not Sleepy (Jane Chapman) – This is the bedtime story every parent can understand. It is a very entertaining tale of a little owl who just cannot go to sleep, or stay in bed.
  • Hedgie Blasts Off (Jan Brett) – Again, I do not know why a space traveling hedgehog story got into our bedtime rotation, but somehow it did and now it’s here to stay.
  • Little Pink Pig (Pat Hutchins) – Mama Pig just wants her baby to come home, but a farm can be oh so distracting for a clumsy little pig.
  • The Going to Bed Book (Sandra Boyton) – I think I read this book nightly for nine straight years. It was wonderful because it could always be the last book I read and I could “read” it even after the light went out. I think this is the book that will bring back visceral memories of our bedtime story times most.

If you are still reading this, you deserve to win all fifty of these books! I can’t actually make that happen, but you deserve it. These books hold very special places on my shelves and  I am glad to have a place to go to when Nostalgic Mom comes calling.

May your family enjoy these books as much as mine did!

Black History Month: Two Excellent Books for Children

Let me be honest for a minute, when I first came to the United States, I did not understand Black History Month. At all. I would sit in my education classes listening to my professor talk about the importance of emphasizing Black History Month in our future classrooms and I admit to being confused. In my naivete, I thought, “Why can’t we just teach American history?” I did not understand why we were segregating history.

And then I started to read American history.

I realized that America’s history has always been segregated. The more I read, the more I realized that outside of sections on slavery and the Civil Rights Movement, the vast majority of U.S. history textbooks were stories about Americans of European descent. James Baldwin is famously quoted as saying,

“When I was going to school, I began to be bugged by the teaching of American history, because it seemed that history had been taught without cognizance of my presence.”

Reading these stories and listening to gracious and patient African American friends describe their educational experience helped me to realize that there can be no “unified” historical story until everyone’s story is included.

One of my favorite songs from the musical, Hamilton, is “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story.” The song begins with George Washington’s character singing:

“Let me tell you what I wish I’d known when I was young and dreamed of glory. You have no control who lives, who dies, who tells your story.”

We have no control who tells our story, but we do control which stories we choose to tell. The stories we choose to tell need to do justice to the people who gave so much to the foundation and formation of this nation. The stories we choose to tell need to go beyond the broad strokes children learn year after year and into the fine detail of underappreciated creators and inventors. The stories we choose to tell need to inspire, uplift, and excite a new generation of history-in-the-making individuals. Stories that are not limited to just one cross-section of our society, but stories that represent all contributors.

This is why Black History Month has gone from being a source of confusion for me to being something I view as essential. If our everyday history teaching is only going to cover the generalities of American history, then taking a month out of the year to shine a spotlight on events and individuals otherwise left out of the story is exactly what is needed.

The thing is, even when we do celebrate Black History Month, we often mimic our textbooks’ incomplete picture. Our focus tends towards topics of some familiarity, namely slavery and the Civil Rights Movement. As such, we often do not look much further than Harriet Tubman and Martin Luther King, Jr.

Please don’t misunderstand, we need to and must learn about this country’s horrifying history with slavery and celebrate the individuals and groups who worked tirelessly and sacrificially to bring about it’s end. The same is true of the brave national heroes of the Civil Rights Movement.

This is not a call to stop learning about those times or people in American history; rather, this is a call to expand our knowledge to include so much and so many more. Our children (and the adults too) need to learn about Lewis Howard Latimer, Daniel Hale Williams, Alice Ball, Garret Morgan, Bessie Coleman, and many, many others. We need to know the stories of the inventors, doctors, lawyers, scientists, and artists who made significant contributions to American life and development.

Two of my favorite books that do just this are:

    • Little Leaders: Bold Women in Black History by Vashti Harrison: This is an excellent book to jump start your child’s historical education. I think this book is a great resource and an interesting read for any age, not just the “little leaders” in the title.

Between these two books, you would have over 29 individuals to learn about, research, and study; one person for each day of February. If you are looking for more resources, Be the Bridge has fantastic book lists for younger kids and another, equally good, one for older kids. You can also see my list from last year here.

With the broad strokes of America’s historical painting finished, let’s start filling in the details.

15 Stealthy Books About Ninjas

Many people wonder, and a few brave souls even ask, if my husband and I planned to have four children. The surprising answer to most is that, yes, yes we did hope to have four kids. Four seems like the perfect round number, everyone always has someone they can get along with for that moment, no one is ever naturally excluded (my lone son may have something to say about this after seeing his sister’s notebook that read, “The Secret Sister’s Club”), and there is a built-in, substantial group of friends to play with at all times.

Now that our youngest child is about to turn five, these theories, for the most part, are finally proving true. There are natural pairings among the four, but on any given day, for seemingly any random reason, those friendships strain. The effected children are able to find different siblings to commiserate play with relatively effortlessly. Secret Sister Club’s aside, there are very few times when an odd sibling is, intentionally, left out. It is also true that they now have a small village to play with every day before and after school. Our house and backyard sound like it, too.

Lately, as all of our neighbors can attest, the kids have been playing a game they call “Ninja Training.” Which is awesome, except that in all of their research, they have failed to realize rule number one of ninja-ing: SILENCE! I need to give them one of my favorite shirts (which you can find on

“Ninja Training” works like this:

  • My second born is the Ninja Trainer, always.
  • She teaches the others her stealthy moves.
  • They try to always stay in the shadows.
  • They try to blend in with their surroundings.
  • They try to move with extreme caution (though, again, silence seems of no import).
  • They learn to fight with some pretty sweet, made up moves.

“Ninja Training” takes place anytime, anywhere: in the car, in the hallway, on the walk to school, at the table, while going to bed. But their favorite place to play is in the trampoline, in the dark. The trainer has a flashlight and the ninjas have to sneak around the trampoline in the shadows and scare the trainer. It is hilarious, often violent, and always noisy (really, why can’t they get the silence component!).

There is just something universally awesome about ninjas. They embody mystery and adventure, poise and control. It is an irresistible combination of imaginative thrill for children. A thrill they like to incorporate into every facet of their lives, including the literary. I know it is not actually true that my children have read every ninja picture book there is, but I am pretty sure they have read every ninja picture book there is! And there are some very good ones:

Nighttime Ninja (Barbara DeCosta) – This is one of my favorite birthday presents for little kids (don’t worry, I give them other things too, not only one small book). This little ninja fulfills every child’s fantasy of sneaking through the house in the middle of the night in search of the forbidden!

N.D. WilsonHello Ninja is a fantastic ninja rhyming adventure for the younger kids in your life. Ninja Boy Goes to School is the perfect book for the child who doesn’t want to take their ninja costume off as they head off to school.

Chris TougasDojo Daycare is a hilarious book that leaves every child I have ever read it to laughing and KA-POWing. It is a remarkably relatable tale for those of us reading it, as well! You have definitely felt like this dojo master at the end of the day!  Dojo Daytrip and Dojo Surprise follow in the same vein. These are very fun books.

Arree ChungNinja! is the go to ninja book for the picture book lovers. Arree Chung has two other ninja books that deserve attention as well, Ninja!: Attack of the Clan and Ninja Claus.

Corey Rosen Schwartz – Schwartz has cornered the market on turning fairy tales into ninja stories, which does not sound like something that should work. I was skeptical at first, but these books are funny and children love them! Be sure to check out The Three Ninja Pigs, Ninja Red Riding Hood, Hensel & Gretel: Ninja Chicks.

Little Kunoichi The Ninja Girl (by Sanae Ishida) – My girls loved reading this book. It is still rare to find ninja books that feature girls. As if that weren’t enough, the story is actually good.

The Boy Who Cried Ninja (Alex Latimer) – An active imagination can be a burden when amazing things keep happening and no one will believe you!

Magic Treehouse: Night of the Ninjas (Mary Pope Osborne)  – This is book 5 of the Magic Treehouse series and one of my kids’ favorites. It now comes with a companion, Magic Treehouse Fact Tracker: Ninjas and Samurai.

When the books no longer suffice, I give you this song, Ninja by Slugs and Bugs.

Books to Celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.’s Life with Children

2018 marks the 50th anniversary of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s assassination. 50 very short years since his life was brutally cut short and what was his life’s work became his lasting legacy.

It is that lasting legacy that we commemorate and honor on this upcoming American holiday.

While it is sometimes easy for us to think of the Civil Rights Movement and Dr. King’s work as bygone history, it is important to remember that, according to the Census Bureau, approximately 29% of the population of the United States is 50 years old and above. That means that within the lifetime of 29% of Americans, in parts of this country, there were separate drinking fountains for black Americans, black Americans were not allowed to check out library books from the public library, schools were segregated, black Americans could not stay in public hotels, eat at public restaurants, or swim in public pools. The list goes on and on and on. Within the lifetime of 29% of Americans. This is not slavery-days history, this is contemporary history.

It is this contemporary history we must not ignore. In his, now famous, 1967 speech at the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, Dr. King begins by talking about the progress and success of the Civil Rights Movement up to that point. But shortly after this introduction, he turns his attention to the future and asks, “Where do we go from here?”

As we celebrate and honor the life of Dr. King, this is a question we must ask ourselves now. “Where do we go from here?”  We now live in a country quite different from the one he knew, and yet, even now, we still have so far to go towards realizing his dream. “Where do we go from here?”

We start by not being content with almost realizing the dream. Almost is not good enough. We commit to working tirelessly, sacrificially, and determinedly towards true equity and equal standing, politically, financially, and practically. We commit to teaching our children and students the truth of our collective past. We give them tools, resources, and support to bring about greater change in their generation.

We all want to live Dr. King’s unforgettable words:

“I have a dream that one day little black boys and girls will be holding hands with little white boys and girls”

In order to reach that dream, we must teach our children the truth, the truth of our history and the truth about each other. It can be difficult to know how to talk to children about these awful realities. We naturally want to shelter and protect our children from unpleasant things and preserve their innocence as long as possible. As a result, in many settings, “race” has become a new “four letter word,” a taboo subject, for any age. But this should not be the case. Racial differences are not inherently wrong, they are actually a beautiful, healthy, and completely natural part of human existence. It is our responses and reactions to those differences that are either morally wrong or right. Our discussions with our children should reflect that reality.

With all this in view, we look back and remember the life of a man who gave voice to a movement, a movement that altered the course of a nation, a nation in desperate need of change.

Here are some books to help your children or students learn more about Dr. King’s lasting legacy and the movement he helped lead.

Picture Books:

Early Readers:

Middle Grade Chapter Books:

Junior High and above:
I highly recommend just reading his speeches, besides the “I Have a Dream” speech. It is a remarkable speech and should be listened to or read in its entirety, often. But he had many other equally remarkable and memorable speeches that deserve our attention as well. My 3 favorite are “Letters From a Birmingham Jail,” “Where Do We Go From Here?” and “I’ve Been to the Mountaintop.”

In his own words, from “Where Do We Go From Here?”:

What I’m saying today is that we must go from this convention and say, “America, you must be born again!” [applause] (Oh yes)

And so, I conclude by saying today that we have a task, and let us go out with a divine dissatisfaction. (Yes)

Let us be dissatisfied until America will no longer have a high blood pressure of creeds and an anemia of deeds. (All right)

Let us be dissatisfied (Yes) until the tragic walls that separate the outer city of wealth and comfort from the inner city of poverty and despair shall be crushed by the battering rams of the forces of justice. (Yes sir)

Let us be dissatisfied (Yes) until those who live on the outskirts of hope are brought into the metropolis of daily security.

Let us be dissatisfied (Yes) until slums are cast into the junk heaps of history (Yes), and every family will live in a decent, sanitary home.

Let us be dissatisfied (Yes) until the dark yesterdays of segregated schools will be transformed into bright tomorrows of quality integrated education.

Let us be dissatisfied until integration is not seen as a problem but as an opportunity to participate in the beauty of diversity.

Let us be dissatisfied (All right) until men and women, however black they may be, will be judged on the basis of the content of their character, not on the basis of the color of their skin. (Yeah) Let us be dissatisfied. [applause]

Let us be dissatisfied (Well) until every state capitol (Yes) will be housed by a governor who will do justly, who will love mercy, and who will walk humbly with his God.

Let us be dissatisfied [applause] until from every city hall, justice will roll down like waters, and righteousness like a mighty stream. (Yes)

2018: The Year of Reliability (I hope)

2018 is 4 days old and so far I have:

  • purchased 3 books on Amazon.
  • returned 24 books to the library…on time!
  • checked out 19 different books.
  • placed 13 books on hold at the library.
  • set off the alarm trying to leave the library, again. (Actually, this happens so often that my 4 year-old son will no longer walk through the scanner with me. He makes me go ahead of him so that he doesn’t have to be seen with the embarrassing alarm-setter-offer.)
  • gone over (and over and over) in my head exactly how to phrase my conversation with the kid from my daughter’s class that I lent 2 of my books to over the break when I ask for my books back.
  • started reading 2 different books only to give up on both (for the time being) to catch up on This Is Us and The Crown.

For the most part, there is very little “new” about this new year. I guess I should be fine with that. Last year was a really good year, actually. I resolved to work towards greater organization and self-discipline. And I, moderately, did just that.

I was able to get a family system of organization in place that kept the 6 of us going, often in 6 different directions, where we needed to be, with the things we were supposed to have, fed, and appropriately dressed…mostly.

As far as self-discipline goes, considering my default mode is to use as few muscles in a day as possible, I feel pretty good about how I did. I wrote at least once a week. I exercised for at least one-third of the year. For a majority of the year, I was carbonated diet drinks free, which for this fizz-lover was an impressive feat of self discipline. I cut down on my daily dark chocolate intake. Mind you, there is still daily intake, but less than there used to be. I also spent more time reading than watching TV. Some may argue this is not self discipline, as actual self discipline would have been to spend more time cleaning the house more than I did read. But that is just crazy talk!

Now here we are at the beginning of a new year and nothing has changed. I need something to change though, because I have a whole new word of emphasis for this year. Somehow January 1st is supposed to bring with it the magical powers of renewed determination and refreshed enthusiasm. How am I supposed to accomplish my goals when the first 4 days are more “meh” than “whoosh” (that’s the sound magic makes, right)? Especially when this year’s word may just be my most difficult one yet.


You know, that word that means when you offer to help someone learn how to drive, you actually get in a car and teach them to drive, not just never call them again because you realized you don’t have time to teach someone how to drive. That word that means when you say you will meet someone for coffee, you actually put it in your calendar and meet said person for coffee, not totally forget and get a “are-we-still-on” call while reading in bed in your pajamas. That word that means when you say, “Mom, don’t buy that album yet. I want to get it for you for Christmas.” You actually go online and order the album for your mother, rather than forgetting until you hear her playing it 5 years later and realizing she got tired of waiting for you to follow through. Because when even your own mother gets tired of waiting for you to follow through, you have a very significant problem indeed…not that I would know?! (Ahem)

And so, I find myself much like Hamilton’s George Washington, “in dire need of assistance.” I am determined to find a way to be more reliable this year, to consistently follow through with what I commit to, but so far it is more of the same. To help motivate me, I will start off with a thing I have no problem being reliable about…books. Here are a few of the books I am most looking forward to reading this year.

Picture Books:

Children’s Chapter Books:
Early Grades:

Middle Grades:

Books for Me:

Now we have 361 days to see if I can discipline myself towards being reliable with the more difficult things.

Best Books of 2017

You may remember that last year I made it my goal to read 52 books in 2017. I am thrilled to announce that I exceeded my goal and read 62 books this year! Unfortunately this goal accomplishing streak did not extend to the one new recipe a week, or the one load of laundry a day, or the stop shouting at the kids, or the start substitute teaching goals. But books. So that is enough, right?!

I should clarify that while that magical 62 does not include the 12,604 picture books I read this year, it does include many children’s novels. While I am okay with that, I understand if that fact skews my numbers in your view. For my part, the only stipulation on my reading goal was that the books be novel length chapter books. All 62 fit into that very broad category. The more specific category break down goes like this:

  1. Children’s Middle Grade – Junior High novels – 35 books
  2. Adult Literary Fiction – 11 books
  3. Adult Non – Fiction – 7 books
  4. Adult Science Fiction/Fantasy – 5
  5. Adult Historical Fiction – 2
  6. Young Adult – 2

Looking back, 2017 has been a very good literary year for me. For the most part, I have come away from this collection of books proud of my choices. I wish I had been able to read more, much more, in the fantasy genre, and in years to come I will need to step my young adult game for the oncoming teenage years, but for this year, I am contented with the content and selection represented.

Of these books, 28 of them feature a main character of a different nationality or ethnicity from my own and 26 of them were authored by writers of a different nationality or ethnicity from my own. This is very exciting to me and yet, I was hoping those numbers would be even closer to exactly half.

While it has been a successful year, reading wise, I have had a few mishaps along the way. This year I have had a record number of library fines. I have returned a book to the wrong library, not just once, but twice. I have lost a school library book for the first time ever. I have had books that were on hold for me re-shelved five times because I forgot they were there. Five times! And I have over spent my book budget (yes, that is a thing) exactly EVERY TIME! For a pretend librarian, I have been very cavalier with the book related responsibilities this year.

Now that you have heard the bad with the good, here are my favorites from my year in reading.

My Favorite Books Written in 2017:

  1. Lincoln in the Bardo by George Saunders – This is a brutal read, in the best possible way. It is an unrelenting, irreverent, often hilarious, and devastating retelling of tragic death of Abraham Lincoln’s son. I will admit, this one is not for everyone.
  2. We Were Eight Years in Power by Ta-Nehishi Coates – The book is formed from 8 different essays written by Coates over the course of the Obama administration. I found the book insightful, helpful, and very interesting. The chapter called The Case for Reparations is particularly poignant.
  3. Stay with Me by Ayobami Adebayo – The story follows a couple in Nigeria as they struggle with infertility, infidelity, and deep misunderstanding. It is heartbreaking and thought-provoking.
  4. Exit West by Moshin Hamid – This is a classic immigration story with a decidedly un-classical twist. Anything else will give it away!
  5. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas – Police brutality, racism, and racial tension. This books does not shy away or back down from directly confronting issues through a fictionalized story of a black teenage girl whose friend is killed by police.

My Favorite Children’s Literature Written in 2017: (With recommended ages in parenthesis.)

  1. Jupiter Storm by Marti Dumas (3rd grade and up) – Dragons, magic, family drama, and life lessons! Need I say more?!
  2. Patina by Jason Reynolds (4th grade and up) – The new girl on the club track team leaves everyone guessing with her speed, her multi-racial family, and her attitude.
  3. The War I Finally Won by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley (5th grade and up) – This is the sequel to the bestselling, The War That Saved My Life. It is a story of bravery, acceptance, and sacrifice.

My Favorite Young Adult Books Written in 2017:

  1. Long Way Down by Jason Reynolds (Young Adult)- What ifs, revenge, and consequences literally haunt a black teenage boy as he tries to decide what is right.
  2. Solo by Kwame Alexander (Young Adult)- The story follows the son of a famous musician who cannot seem to find his place in the world. His path to self discovery leads him to Ghana, West Africa.

Overall Favorites (Books I read this year that were published previously):

  1. Kindred by Octavia Butler
  2. Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
  3. The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold
  4. Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow
  5. The Trouble I’ve Seen by Drew Hart

Overall Favorites in Children’s Literature:

  1. Stella by Starlight by Sharon M Draper
  2. Pax by Sarah Pennypacker
  3. The Hero and The Crown by Robin McKinley
  4. Ghost by Jason Reynolds
  5. The Evolution of Calpurnia Tate by Jacqueline Kelly

Most Difficult Read: Tears We Cannot Stop by Michael Eric Dyson

Biggest Literary Regret: Not being able to finish The Warmth of Other Suns by Isabel Wilkerson this year.

Book that Got the Most Laughs: Hat Full of Sky by Terry Pratchett (reading for myself) and The Wollstonecraft Detective Agency: The Case of the Missing Moonstone by Jordan Stratford (reading to my kids).

Here is my year in review, courtesy of Goodreads, if you would like to see it all in infograph form!

While the following books were not a part of my overall book count this year, I wanted to add a section for my favorite picture books and early chapter books from 2017.

Picture Books:

Early Chapter Books: Jaden Toussaint is the only early chapter book we read that was published this year. The others were all published previously. A few of my favorites were: Fantastic Mr. Fox, Mrs Piggle Wiggle, Mr. Popper’s Penguins, and Ralph S. Mouse.

On Turning 40

According to my birth certificate, today is the day I turn forty. Aside from the deepening lines on my face, the increasing number of silver strands in my hair, and the need to take my glasses off while I read, this birthday feels much like the ones before it. Although, there is some solemnity to the turning of a decade, or four. While I have not fretted over the visual aspects of aging, yet, I have still reached this milestone with some foreboding.

As I look ahead, I am acutely aware that this was the decade in which my grandmother was widowed. It was the decade in which my father was diagnosed with cancer.  And it was the decade in which my mother was widowed. These facts give me pause.

As I look ahead, I also realize that this is the decade in which three of my children will learn to drive. It is the decade in which two of my children will graduate from high school. And it is the decade in which I will be the mother of four teenagers. These facts give me nightmares.

As I look ahead, I trust what everyone keeps telling me: that despite all of these things, the decade of the forties is the best. This “fact” gives me hope. Hope I can see from the decades before, when life was its chaotic, messy, unpredictable self but still managed joy, laughter, life, and blessing in the midst of it all.

My twenties were spent trying to undo everything I thought I knew about living in America, about being married, about being a Christian, about loss, about family, about everything. It was an exciting, soul crushing, and ultimately hopeful decade.

My thirties were spent trying to re-establish what mattered most to me, what I wanted to pass on to my children, what I wanted my adult life to be given to, what was worth my time and what was not. It was an inspiring, exhausting, and ultimately hopeful decade.

Right now, on the cusp of a new decade, life feels a bit like eating a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans…anything could happen. I look ahead to the forties with hope, and not a little trepidation. I wonder what will define this decade and how I will respond. With my identity, priorities, and focus firmly solidified, what questions will loom large over me?

In the midst of all the unknowns, one thing I know is that books will still hold a place of prominence in my daily life. To that end, inspired by a good friend, I would love it if you would tell me one book you think I should read during my fortieth year. I will update this post with all the suggestions I get so we can all benefit from my virtual birthday present!

Thank you, in advance! I cannot wait to hear what you suggest!